What Do You Say To Someone Who Is Grieving?

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Our society has never been prepared to deal with grief, and when we encounter 
those who are suffering from loss, our words may become hollow phrases.




Letting someone know you are thinking about them is imperative.

When dealing with people that are in the midst of grief, sometimes our words can have a negative connotation, even if that wasn't our intent.  People try to show their empathy and compassion to those who are suffering the loss of someone dear, but when people are in pain, they may interpret your well-intended words quite differently.

I realized how pertinent our words become when I lost my son, and had the task of responding to those caring individuals that took the time to offer their heartfelt condolences.  In all honesty, I believe everyone had the best of intentions when they were reaching out and offering their sympathies, even if their words seemed rigid in some unsatisfying way.

When you're in the shock of grief, our emotions are raw and overly sensitive, so one little word could be taken out of context.  This could throw the griever into a tailspin of emptiness and loneliness which perhaps is difficult for others to truly understand.

Some phrases begin to sound so cliche, such as, "Sorry for your loss", "You're in my thoughts and prayers", or the heart wrenching words, "He's in a better place".  As a bereaved parent that has heard so many intricacies of combinations, I have found, you only have to let the suffering party know how much you care by saying, "I'm sorry you are going through this".

Trying to pair the words with some justification is unnecessary and sometimes painful to the receiving party, as their torn hearts are so wounded that they can find tribulation in the smallest of details.

We will all encounter the loss of those we love, and when you're on the outside looking in, just letting the grieving know that you are here to listen, or just to ask if there is anything you can do for them is sufficient.

The biggest hurdle to grievers is not what you say in the first 24 hours, but your actions when the silence sets in and the weeks and months begin to drag on.  That's when your presence is needed, more than any words you could ever offer in the beginning. 



Kim Halerwich-Clark is a Certified NLP Practitioner and Life Coach, as well as, the author of Butterfly Kisses From Beyond - Signs From My Son in Heaven.

Kim is an Instructor on Udemy where she teaches a variety of topics to students all around the globe, including the course: Dealing With The Loss Of A Loved One.

She is the Founder of The Solution Wizard Company that is dedicated to assisting individuals in overcoming challenges that face society every day.




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