Butterfly Kisses From Beyond

 It doesn't seem to matter how much time passes since our loved one was taken from this physical realm.  There will be moments that hit you like a brick, and the emptiness fills your shredded heart. Sometimes I catch a glance at my son's photo, and I yearn for his presence.  I know he comes to me in a spiritual way, to comfort me in the moment but I long for more.   The last days of his existence in this world plaque my mind, and I wish we had talked longer, hugged, and made the most of our last moments together.  Unfortunately, they ways of the world overtook us, as we had to cut his birthday celebration short as the next work day was looming over the evening. I remember picking him up the next morning to drive him to work, and as our last minutes were fading, we were consumed with the time on the clock.  We were running late on the highway, and when I pulled into the community to drop him off, the cement truck was waiting for him. He grabbed his item...

 Many people have heard the phrase, "time heals all wounds"... In the case of grief, this is not necessarily correct.  Grief does transform as time passes; however, it never really truly ceases to exist. When you are first faced with the loss of a loved one, the pain is raw and emotional.  The feelings of helplessness and emptiness fill your entire being with dread.  Sometimes the emotions are so overwhelming, it's hard to imagine that the pain in your heart will ever stop aching. In my own journey of loss, I have watched my grief transform in many ways.  As I write this, I can't even fathom that I have existed on this planet without my son in physical presence for almost seven years.  In the early days of his passing, my heart was shattered and at that time, beyond repair.  It brought me into a tail-spin of crushing trauma to realize that I had to go on living, when I thought he could not. Over the course of my heart-wrenching journey, I've realized t...

 After the death of a child, the world views you in a different light. The sorrow that surrounds the looks from other parents don't go unnoticed.  After joining the bereaved parents' club against my will, I noticed that people began to look at me differently.  It was like you could feel their sympathy at every encounter for the pain they knew I was enduring. I believe Emily Graham explained this best when she wrote the following: All eyes on me… wondering how I could possibly go on when they knew there was no way they could.  Time slowly passes. I’m known as the mom whose kid died.  There’s an awkwardness in our interactions – like you’re afraid it’s something you can catch.  I assure you it’s not. You’re not sure what to say. It seems the most comfortable thing to do is pretend nothing happened.  Yet, that doesn’t really work either.  I still feel all eyes on me.  When will she go back to normal? They say you should never let your loss defin...

Using Mindfulness to Reduce Feelings of Stress   If you are experiencing low energy, headaches, racing thoughts, elevated emotions, or feelings of despair, you may find releasing the stress from your body will bring you back into balance. This simple technique will help you move from the first person experience to one of an observer to your thoughts, feelings, and actions.   - The first step is to close your eyes.  - Take a long, deep breath and focus all of your attention to the air coming into your lungs, lingering for a second or two, and slowly begin to release your breath, as your shoulders drop and the tension releases. Do this at least 3 times in a row or for as long as you wish.  - Now, picture a river in front of you... you can see the ripples in the water, as the current flows in one direction.  - Every item in your mind becomes an object floating down this stream... you can picture each thought, feeling, memory,...

Losing Loved Ones Is Difficult To Swallow Emotions run high when the ones we love leave this planet. As humans, we are not immune to the fact that many of our loved ones will pass away during our lifetime.  No matter how prepared we think we might be, we will not be ready for their departure from this world. Losing the people we care about is such a devastating time, that no words can express the pain that your heart feels.  The emptiness abounds, and cloudy thoughts are at the forefront of your mind. Even if your loved one was battling a long illness that was considered terminal, we can't fathom the life we must live after they are no longer here in the physical sense.  Even if you believe that the spirit lives on, it is very hard to cope with life when their presence has disappeared.  Many people around the world are blessed with signs from beyond, or experiences that they can't explain, but the majority of time, we are left with a certain vo...

When your emotions are overflowing, it can be difficult to focus. Finding ways to redirect your mind towards more peaceful thoughts  can be challenging but it will assist you in conquering the latest wave of grief. No matter how hard we try to avoid grief, there is no way to side-step around the overwhelming feelings of loss.  The absence of your loved one's physical presence is no doubt front and center in your mind.   It takes trial and error to succeed and bring yourself into a more peaceful state, but perseverance is of utmost importance when trying to survive the pain of loss. Not all methods of working through grief will achieve the same results for all people, as our experiences are unique.  We will differ in our tolerance level of overbearing emotions and some individuals are able to handle more intense feelings than others.  It is advised that you try a multitude of techniques until you find the procedures that give you some c...

Emptiness is a part of grief that never truly heals. There will always be a void that forever stays open like a gaping wound. Losing a loved one is something that one never gets "over".  There are reminders everywhere that a physical presence is missing... a longing for their voice, laughter, or simply their company. There are many aspects of grief that can never be repaired, even when one completely believes in the afterlife and realizes that spirit lives on after death.  When left in the world of matter, we have to live with the fact that someone is missing from our lives.  It is a pain that will always leave a gnawing sentiment, even when we are surrounded by joy and happiness for present events that are happening in our realities. I've learned to survive the emotional turmoil, and the majority of time, I am confident and ambitious towards a bright future; however, even years later, the circumstances of my son's absence hits me like a woodpile toppl...