Your New Identity As A Bereaved Mother

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 After the death of a child, the world views you in a different light.


The sorrow that surrounds the looks from other parents don't go unnoticed. 

After joining the bereaved parents' club against my will, I noticed that people began to look at me differently.  It was like you could feel their sympathy at every encounter for the pain they knew I was enduring.

I believe Emily Graham explained this best when she wrote the following:

All eyes on me… wondering how I could possibly go on when they knew there was no way they could.  Time slowly passes. I’m known as the mom whose kid died.  There’s an awkwardness in our interactions – like you’re afraid it’s something you can catch.  I assure you it’s not.

You’re not sure what to say. It seems the most comfortable thing to do is pretend nothing happened.  Yet, that doesn’t really work either.  I still feel all eyes on me.  When will she go back to normal?

They say you should never let your loss define you.

But, I am a bereaved mother.

It may not define me, but it’s a part of my identity now. It’s imprinted, your imprint, weaved throughout my DNA.

How can a loss like this not define every part of me going forward?

As long as people continue to see me as a bereaved mother, they continue to see you.

To acknowledge you existed.

Sometimes I need that reminder, too.

As time continues to pass, it feels like a different world.

The one where I had you.

The further away it gets, the more I convince myself it was real.

You were real, even if for a short time.

This loss, it does define me… and I’m OK with that.

I AM a bereaved mother.

Read the full article, "I Am A Bereaved Mother" at Still Standing Magazine.



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