Living in Two Worlds When Grieving
Our hearts are split into two, as we maneuver through one world, begging for the next.
Our lives are intertwined through the fabric of time and space... and the universe beckons us forward.
When you are thrust into a sea of grief, you aren't sure how to gain the footing you require to stand upon this Earth. Your heart sees everything around you that has woven itself into your current life here... but there still remains a gnawing wonder of what it is like on the other side of death.
Your loved one has transitioned into the "unknown" and you long for their presence, even when you are standing in the midst of your family and friends. You are surrounded by those you care about, and your thoughts float off into the dark crevasses of the mind to explore where you also want to be.
Over the years, I have discovered that this twinge of pain will forever be present in my life here. I have one child on the other side, while the other is basking in all that life has to offer here. It is a hard position to be in as a Mother, as you only want the best for your children... no matter where in the universe they reside.
Only parents who have lost children, can know this contradictory feeling, of wanting to be everywhere to help your children... on this side, or the other side. The bond will never truly be broken, as something deep inside of us knows that everything is still tied together, the way it always was. It takes a deep understanding of self, to explore this part of the world, as many people in society never take a look down this path.
The bereaved are left in a void of their own thoughts and beliefs, while longing for someone else on the planet to really understand what they are going through.
It is up to each of us to move through the chaos, into a place of self-contentment that allows us to explore what we really believe... what we really feel... and how we can work through our own pain to get us to a place of understanding ourselves better.
One thing grief has opened up to me, is that there is so much more to learn. There are so many enticing explanations of life and death, perspectives held for centuries that can be pursued, that we could literally learn about death for the rest of our lives...
On the other hand, we can explore ways to cope with the loss we have been dealt, and then allow ourselves to experience the world in a new light. A bright path of wonderment that has us exploring the intricate details of life itself, and how we can contribute to this side of the world in a different way. Perhaps, we can grow through this experience of loss, and understand ourselves and the people around us, in ways we may have never explored had it not been for death.
Grappling with loss is not an easy road, and it will become part of your legacy of life, as you find your footing to walk through the thicket of grief.
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